Shadow Self
by mrscarstairs
Summary: Jem wakes up in an unknown room, bound and helpless, after falling through a mysterious portal in the ground. When he is met with his captor, he is surprised by the sight before him, and the plan the man possesses. POST CLOCKWORK PRINCESS. Contains spoilers so do not read unless you've read the final book in the trilogy. Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights go to Cassandra Clare
1. Trapped

The first sense to explode through his body was a mind-shattering ability to feel.

Cold, almost blistering frozen air whispered through the walls and snaked across the room, enveloping his body and causing him to shiver where he sat, his eyes still shut tightly against the very real fear that he was no longer with Tessa, resting in their apartment where they had just begun to rekindle their long-lost relationship. No, if he were still at home then he would not be feeling this way, as if all the light and beauty of the world had vanished in a puff of icy smoke. Like death itself had materialized into this very room.

Jem slowly opened his eyes, at first wondering if his trip through the portal had blinded him. After a few more rapid blinks, he quickly assumed it was only the lack of light in the space around him that was giving off this strange effect. Darkness was no stranger to him; after all, he had spent many a year living in the city known for its blackness and silence. He had walked among the dead souls for over a century—no, darkness did not bring forth fear in his heart, yet merely enhanced his sudden urge to escape. Jem had promised himself that after reuniting with Tessa he would never again step into a world so grim and lifeless. He did not wish to break that vow now.

Jem allowed his gaze to scan the room before him, suffocating the growing panic in his veins at the sight laid out in front of his eyes. He couldn't pinpoint whether he was underground or not, but he was very much aware of the fact that the only visible decoration in the place consisted of a rickety old wooden chair and hundreds of cobwebs scattered about the room. Directly forward was a metal door, rusted over so it appeared as an odd variegation of greys, reds, and dull oranges. Jem himself was seated in a chair not unlike the one a few feet away from him, and when he glanced down he wasn't at all shocked to find that his wrists had been bound to the arms by some form of durable white rope. His ankles had been done up in the same manner. No matter how violently Jem writhed, using what little Shadowhunter strength he had left in him to throw his body forward and back, the struggle remained completely useless.

"What happened?" Jem muttered, licking his dry lips and groaning at the immense headache that had burst through his skull from all the thrashing. His memory was scattered all over his mind; it was like he was thrown into a dark corner of his brain with nothing but his hands to retrieve the broken pieces. Slowly, like a giant puzzle, flashes of the day's events began to meld together into one solid recollection of thoughts and sounds. He and Tessa had taken a stroll through Hyde Park in the early morning, the grey-eyed woman rambling on about all of the amazing places she couldn't wait to take him, her features serene and beautiful. He remembered thinking that even after all these years, he did not wish to tear his eyes from her face. It was almost as if there were still parts of her that he hadn't yet discovered—the smooth, graceful curve of her collarbone, the laugh lines in the corners of her eyes, the faint freckles on her cheeks that only appeared in the summertime. They had been reunited for little over six months now, and still he longed to learn everything about her once again, to start over and turn a new page in the book of her life. It was finally their chance to write their own story, and he hoped—no, he _knew_—she would be right by his side as they wrote their final page together, just like when she had loved with Will.

They had paused for a moment near the edge of an old willow tree, Tessa placing her hands on Jem's chest and resting her head in the crook of his shoulder as they gazed out at the water. Passerby was rare this early in the morning, but the normally dreary clouds that often threatened oncoming rain were free from the sky that day, so he expected many to emerge from their homes soon, once the hour was more reasonable for children and their parents.

"I haven't felt so peaceful in quite some time, Jem," Tessa had said, her delicate fingers gently playing with his jacket collar in an almost absent motion. Jem had placed his right hand against the small of her back and kissed the top of her head before laying his chin there, communicating to her through touch that he felt the same. "You coming back to me like this," she'd continued quietly, "is a dream I wouldn't even allow myself. I know that you are aware of my reluctance at first, after the agony of losing Will,"—Tessa had finally come around to saying his name without her voice faltering, and Jem admired her strength in the face of such pain—"but in the end, I recalled what Woolsey had said to me so long ago. You are one of my great loves, and it would be not only wasteful, but also an insult to Will's memory if I chose to wallow in grief and self-pity rather than take this road with you."

Jem had smiled, and even now in this dark room he could remember the way her eyes had lit up when she'd met his, a grin already gracing her face. "I would be lying though," she'd added, "if I told you that it's been easy getting used to your new look." Tessa indicated his hair with a wave of her hand, a small laugh escaping her lips. "I was so used to the silver, and even the streaks when you were a Brother, but never this. I like it, though."

"If it were not for the drug that tore me away from you, then you would never have known another version of me other than the one you see now," Jem had pointed out, immediately chastising himself for being so negative when they were having such a wonderful moment. Unfortunately, the words couldn't help themselves, and he had said them without thought as to how Tessa might react upon hearing them.

"If it were not for the drug, then we never would have met in the first place," she'd countered, her eyes set with determination and fierceness, two traits he always associated primarily with his Tessa. "You know that."

Jem had sighed and grazed her cheek with his hand, tilting her head farther up so that their noses touched briefly. "You're right," he'd conceded, no longer worried that people may notice them so closely intertwined under this tree. Times had definitely changed since they had been together this way, and others rarely presented them with a passing glance before trotting off on down the road. It was both exciting and terrifying to him. "I apologize, Tessa. I shouldn't be saying such bitter things right now—"

"—or ever," Tessa amended, her breath tickling his face. The intimacy—though it wasn't so new to them anymore—still sent shivers down his spine. When she leaned up on her toes to kiss him, he allowed just the slightest of gasps to pass through his lips, meeting her mouth as readily as if it were the most natural movement in the world. It had always been this way between them; from their first kiss over a hundred years ago, to their moment on Blackfriar's Bridge six months ago, to the night not too long ago when they had both decided in a heated tangle of limbs and love that they wished not to stop themselves any longer, one thing remained the same. Their lips knew each other's, and there was never a second of doubt that their souls were connected, bound beyond the confines of time.

Jem recalled the way he had kissed her under that tree, gently brushing her bottom lip with his tongue, begging for entry so he could truly move with her. She had granted his wish, of course, and soon they were both panting with unsaid desire, and Tessa had kissed her way up his jaw to whisper in his ear, "Perhaps this would be best done back at the apartment, hm?"

Everything was relatively fuzzy after that, Jem noticed as he sat back in the creaking chair. There had been a loud rumbling, and then the ground underneath the two of them had shaken roughly, like a storm attempting to break through the earth below. Before either of them could voice their concern and confusion, the grass and dirt under their feet tore apart, and Tessa slipped from his grasp, almost falling through the sudden gaping hole in the ground. Jem couldn't remember much other than that, only that he had somehow managed to catch her and throw her as far from the in-ground portal as he now knew it to be, and in doing so had fallen through it himself.

_And now here I am, tied to a chair and absolutely helpless,_ Jem thought angrily, his mind whirling with a thousand different possibilities as to who his captors were and what they wanted with him. _What I don't understand is how that portal was created. It came out of the ground, not a wall, and sucked me in like a vortex. I've never seen anything like it._

"Intriguing, isn't it?"

Jem's head shot up as he realized he had spoken aloud, and now had been met with a response. A figure, tall and definitely male, shifted in the shadows of the room, moving next to the door. A hand was all that was visible to Jem's eyes as it closed the door behind the man and the sound of the metal sliding along the floor echoed in his ears.

"My kind has a very interesting method of getting around," the voice proclaimed, and Jem noted that it was tinged with an American accent, though he sounded no older than Jem looked.

Jem grimaced. "Your kind? What do you mean? Who are you?"

"Patience," the voice replied, his tone amused. "All in due time. To be honest, I was surprised when you came through the portal. I had been expecting the girl, the little half-warlock…Shadowhunter…thing. Whatever it is you wish to call her. Labels don't much matter to me." Jem heard footsteps shuffle across the cement. He was certain that this man was studying him, gauging his every movement to see just how dangerous of an adversary Jem would be to him. "She's been on my kind's radar for a while now, and we wanted to have a look at her up close and personal. However, now that I think about it, you're even better."

"What do you mean?" Jem asked, hating the fragility and dryness of his voice.

"I mean," the figure drew out the words, and Jem caught a flash of white as he smiled, "that having you here in her place has actually proved to be a much more favorable choice than I had once believed. A new plan is forming in my head now as we speak, oh yes."

Jem didn't like the sound of that, and his stomach churned as a physical sign of his worry. A deep foreboding gripped his chest and he narrowed his dark eyes at the shrouded man. "Come out of the shadows," he ordered, tugging his wrists in a feeble attempt to free them.

"Are you sure that's what you really want?"

Jem frowned. The voice sounded almost arrogant, like it knew something he didn't yet. "Yes, that's what I want," he answered, breathing heavily.

The figure chuckled and Jem watched as he stepped into the light. For a moment, Jem lost the ability to breathe, and his chest contracted as if he had been hit with something heavy and painful. _No,_ he thought wildly. _This isn't possible. How—_

"Do I look familiar to you?" the man said, running a hand through his black hair.

Jem swallowed and met the man's eyes, drowning in the sight before him. Broad shoulders, just enough muscle along his arms, which were decorated with both black and silver rune scars, and a delicate face set with slightly curved eyes and high cheekbones, all angles and softness.

Jem was staring directly at a mirror image of himself.


	2. An Old Friend

Jem's mouth open and closed in shock, his words lost on his tongue before he could even speak them aloud. Everything about the man before him mirrored himself down to the last detail—the gold specks in his eyes, the way he smiled, even the scar on his thumb. Jem ceased his struggling for a moment and leaned back against the chair, wincing when he realized belatedly that the ropes had burned his wrists raw.

"How—" Jem began, but was swiftly interrupted.

The man laughed, and it resonated through the small enclosure, echoing Jem's so identically that it almost hurt his ears to hear. "I'm sure you have many questions," he said loftily, and Jem noted that there was one small detail that contradicted himself; the figure before him spoke in the perfect picture of an American accent, all sharpness and roughly stressed consonants. "And I can assure you that I will answer any you may wish." He waved a hand in a bored motion, gesturing to Jem that he could proceed.

Jem bit his lip. "What are you, and why do you look exactly like me?" He paused when Tessa's face flashed across his field of vision, smiling up at him with all the hope and love in the world. "Are you an Eidolon demon?"

The man gave Jem a sinister grin, one that the Shadowhunter wasn't even aware he could form. It did not suit his face at all, but rather appeared like a demon was attempting to break through the mask of Jem's face, like cracks in the skin. "My kind has many names, but you can refer to me as a Shadow Demon. We can shape-shift, much like Eidolons, however we are even more powerful. We can access every thought and memory of the person we transform into, and mimic their accents, the lilt of their voice, and even the way they walk. We are like an exact clone of the person whose form we inhabit."

"You're like Tessa," Jem remarked, restraining the urge to cry out when his wrists rubbed painfully against the ropes again. "Only you're an actual demon, not the offspring of a non-Marked Shadowhunter like she is."

"Oh, you see that is why I am so interested in your dear Tessa." The Shadow Demon sauntered closer to Jem. His movements, from the way he crossed his arms to the slight turn of his feet with every step he took, reminded Jem so eerily of himself that he realized with a deep sense of shock and foreboding that his ability to Change was even more dominant than Tessa's. While she had to learn how to walk and talk like the person, this Demon was fully capable of it without being taught. "My kind would like to study her more closely, to observe her and figure out whether she would be a valuable addition to our clan. However, you falling through the portal, while fortuitous, turned out to be of an even greater advantage on my part than I once believed."

Jem flicked some dark hair out of his eyes and glared at the demon, his thoughts threatening to spill over from his normal instinct to remain calm and figure out a plan, and into the cloudy space of his mind that was firing off his fear for Tessa's safety like fireworks. These demons wanted Tessa to join them, but first they needed to be sure that she was an expedient asset, which Jem knew they would affirm quickly. Tessa was powerful and strong, and anyone would be lucky to have her on their side.

"Why would you rather have me than her?" Jem asked, hoping the man didn't hear the shaking of his voice, caused by his anxiety on Tessa's behalf.

The demon threw his hands in the air, his expression sour. "I thought it was obvious! If I keep you down here, then I may go to Tessa in your place. She'll believe that I am you, and I can then observe her closely and comfortably. She will assume nothing, and I will be given an extremely fortunate opportunity. Up close and personal, as they say."

Jem frowned, his heart aching for the girl he loved. The Shadowhunter side of him, the Nephilim blood that called to the stele and seraph blades, fought to overcome his mind, begging him to break free of his restraints and slay the demon where he stood, even if all he possessed was his bare hands. But then there was the recently discovered side of him that did not wish to plunge back into this life. Being a Shadowhunter was more than just a job, it was a calling. If Jem killed this demon, he could not help but wonder if he would be able to stop himself from joining the realm of Shadowhunters and Downworlders once more. And that was something he desperately did not wish to do. After losing Will, living out so many lonely years in the Silent City, and helping Jonathon and Clarissa in the war against Sebastian, Jem was left feeling worn out and empty. He had told Tessa that he didn't want to know what it was like to be a Shadowhunter without his parabatai, without Will by his side, and he meant it.

"It will never work, you know," Jem stated firmly, gasping heavily. The air around him had suddenly condensed, affecting him to the point where breathing became difficult. When he peered closer in the darkness, he could see that his clone was twirling one long, slender finger in the air next to him, smoke following his movements until a small circle of grey was floating by the demon's side. Jem exhaled deeply, his body struggling for air. "She will see through you, and know that you aren't me."

"You have faith in her, I see. But I would not be so sure of yourself. I am quite skilled at my craft, and every thought and memory you possess is now mine as well. Nothing she says could throw me off, nor any of her actions towards me." The demon bent at the waist, coming face to face with Jem until their noses nearly touched. "I _am_ you."

Jem's eyes narrowed. "What makes you think I won't break out of here as soon as you leave for Tessa?"

The demon smiled again, and this time his black eyes sparkled mischievously. "I had thought about that. And my plan is as follows. See that void of smoke I just created?" The man pointed behind him at the cloud Jem had watched him form seconds ago. It appeared to be the cause of the abrupt lack of oxygen in the air. "Well, my kind has another power that your Tessa does not. Watch closely."

The demon stepped back until he stood directly to the side of the swirling smoke. He reached out with one thin hand and caressed the vortex-like mass, blue sparks igniting from his hands. Jem had never seen a demon with capabilities and powers like that of a warlock, and it astounded him. He found himself at a loss for words as he observed the void of smoke slowly increase until it was as tall as Jem.

"Step forward," the demon commanded, his gaze fixed on the smoke. Jem wasn't sure who the man was talking to, or if they would answer, until one booted foot emerged from the grey mass, clicking onto the stone floor. It wasn't long before a dark figure completely materialized from the portal, swaying as if drunk.

Jem's heart stopped when the new presence took the form of a man, and their eyes met. Deep blue, like bottle glass, met Jem's dark ones. The man's hair was a tumbling mess of black curls, and his stance was so achingly familiar to Jem, that it felt as if they had never been separated at all. For a moment, Jem could have sworn that his faded parabatai rune had pulsed against his skin.

"William?"

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**A/N: Hello! Thanks so much for the reviews, and follows! I would love to hear what you think about how this story is progressing, so please drop a review! Any at all would be greatly appreciated! This is my first fanfiction, so I am doing the best I can :) **

**I do know how this story will continue, but I still would like to hear your theories, so don't be afraid to let me know! I will post the next chapter as soon as I can, assuming you guys want more! Thanks again for reading!**


	3. Figuring Things Out

**A/N: Hi! Sorry it took me so long to update! This is a scene between Tessa and Magnus, but I tried to give you a little mini-cliffhanger at the end ;)**

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Tessa was breathless by the time she made it to Magnus' flat. Her feet barely grazed the ground as she darted onto his doorstep, pressing the buzzer with more force than necessary. Her pulse raced in her throat until she could barely speak when the warlock's familiar voice came over the speaker.

"WHO CALLS ON THE HIGH WARLOCK?"

Under normal circumstances—and that was a consistent rarity in her life besides—Tessa would have smiled and attempted a sarcastic response. However, her fear for Jem trumped any chance of jest, and Tessa couldn't help the edge to her tone, sharp as a razor blade, when she snapped, "We're not in New York, so you can save it. I need you to let me in, Magnus. Something's happened to Jem, and I don't know what to do." Her voice cracked at the end, and Tessa mentally forced her body to calm down at least a little, despite the shaking of her legs and the pounding of her heart.

The door swung open and Magnus appeared on the threshold, leaning against the frame lazily. He was dressed quite modestly in Tessa's opinion, after so many years in his presence. Sporting a neon green midriff and dark brown trousers, his face devoid of any and all makeup and glitter, he didn't seem as flamboyant as she remembered from their last meeting a few months back. "Tessa, darling, hello!" he exclaimed with a smile, though it didn't reach his eyes. _That's peculiar of him,_ Tessa thought in astonishment. "How did you know I was in London?"

"I've learned to pick up on the signs when you travel," she replied vaguely, her mounting sense of urgency too important to ignore. "Look, I know that you don't want to help the Nephilim anymore, and after the war I don't blame you. But, please, I'm asking you to help _me_."

Magnus stared at her for a moment, studying her, his cat eyes raking her body from top to bottom. Tessa's nerves were singing with impatience by the time he sighed in defeat and gestured at her to come inside. Tessa stepped into his apartment, which was adorned with faux-Victorian décor; its studded leather couches and chairs, and painted black wood sent memories spilling through her mind that she tried futilely to ignore. Magnus tucked his thumbs into the loops of his pants and rested against the edge of the kitchen counter, his gaze narrowed in her direction.

"You said something happened to Jem," he said.

Tessa blew out a shaky breath and wrung her hands nervously. "Yes. I don't know how to explain it, but I assumed that since it was a portal that took him away from me, you may be of the most help. You're one of the only people I completely trust."

Magnus opened his mouth in surprise. "What did this portal look like?" he inquired, waving his hand at the table in front of Tessa. A Styrofoam cup of steaming tea appeared in her hand, and Tessa thanked him, blowing on the top to cool it down.

"I've never seen anything like it," she told him honestly, shaking her head. "Have you ever heard of portals that can come from the ground?"

The warlock frowned deeply, crossing his arms in a sudden interested manner. She had truly caught his attention now, Tessa realized, and she could tell by the way he abruptly leaned forward. "The _ground_? Do you know who cast it? Was there another warlock involved?"

"I don't know!" Tessa cried, slamming the cup onto the table so hard some of the liquid splashed out and burned her hand. She barely noticed. "Does it matter? All I want is to get him back, and so help me, if you don't know how to do that, then I will leave here and look for him myself. And I will not stop, no matter what." Tessa marched to the door, gripping the handle and throwing it open without much caution. Magnus stopped her with a yank of her elbow, spinning her around to face him.

There was the immense wisdom of many ages in his gaze when he glanced down at her. Tessa gasped when he traced his thumb across her cheek, catching a few tears that had fallen without her knowledge. "I understand your drive to rescue him. You are as fierce as you were back then—"

"I have been given a chance to love him once more, and I cannot lose him again! I refuse!"

Magnus held up a hand to silence her interruption. "And I've always admired that about you. But I want you to realize that he may not be in any danger. We aren't sure of what that portal was, and where it leads, and without me you will never succeed in finding him. You know that." Magnus took her hand and led her back to the couch, Tessa feeling as if she had lost a part of her heart, and without Jem she would never feel completely whole again.

"He saved me," she said quietly. "I almost fell in, but he caught at my hands and threw me aside, and in doing so, he stumbled and disappeared through it. Now, tell me that he is in no danger."

Magnus was silent then, but his eyes had softened since she had arrived at his flat, and his tone was gentle when he answered honestly, "I cannot say for certain. I wish to help, Tessa, but you have to give me at least a small description of what it looked like."

Tessa nodded warily. "I don't remember much, and my fear and shock has caused some of the recollection to become clouded, but I do know that it was a bright white color, like a star had exploded, and it burst from the ground. It literally tore the earth apart, like some kind of vortex."

Magnus's mouth parted in amazement and he sighed. "If that's the work of a warlock, then it's one I have never seen, not in all my years. No, that sounds like an entranceway created by a demon."

Before Tessa could respond, Magnus hopped off the couch and rushed to an old bookshelf in the back of the living room, stuffed to the brim with leather-bound novels, some as thick as bricks. His fingers ran across the bindings quickly, his eyes scanning the titles. "I don't keep much in the way of demonic textbooks, or the origins of the creatures, but I may have something—ah ha!" His smile widened when he came across a large, slightly ancient looking brown book, located at the top of the shelf and covered with so much dust that when Magnus pulled it from its place, grey particles blew from the surface and into the air, visible in the daylight streaming through the windows. Magnus sneezed and brushed his hand across the front of the book, his gaze wistful and a bit sad. "Alec had this with him once when he lived with me. He left it behind and never returned for it, so I kept it." Tessa fought the urge to reach out and comfort him, knowing that Magnus was not the type for that. "It's an old Institute text about rare demon species. Perhaps it can help us."

Magnus placed the book onto the table in front of them and flipped it open to a random page, browsing for what felt like hours before he finally pointed out a passage to Tessa, his finger planted on a paragraph at the far right bottom. "σκιά δαίμονας" was written at the top. "What does that mean?" Tessa asked.

"It's Greek for 'Shadow Demon'. Apparently, these are one of the rarest demons in all the dimensions of space. And trust me, there are quite a few of them. It says here that they are capable of shape-shifting. They can access memories and thoughts, and are the spitting image of the form they inhabit, much like you, dearest, only they are much more powerful."

Tessa's hand instinctively shot to her throat, where her clockwork angel necklace used to rest against her collarbones, but now she only felt the cool jade pendant against her fingertips. "You think they took Jem?"

Magnus scratched his chin thoughtfully. "I don't think it's Jem they were after. You said you were the one who first fell through, yes? I think those demons were itching for a chance to meet you in person, Miss Change."

Tessa nodded gravely, acknowledging the possibility. "That seems more likely. But, what do they want me for?"

"I'm not sure," the warlock answered. "But check this out. The text says that Shadow Demons have another power, one that is so unique that it's unheard of from any other demon or Downworlder."

Magnus continued reading the passage, and he fell back against the couch cushions in shock when he laid eyes on the final sentence of the paragraph. He placed his dark hands on top of his head and gripped his spiked hair in his fingers, closing his eyes for a bit longer than a normal blink. Tessa's heart sped up and she whispered, "What can they do?"

Magnus turned to look at her, and his eyes were filled with so much sorrow that Tessa almost had to look away.

"They can bring the dead back to the land of the living."

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**A/N: As always, I would love your thoughts, so please review! Thanks! **

**I didn't want to get too into the events of City of Heavenly Fire, since it's not out yet and I have no clue what happened. So I left Magnus and Alec's relationship the way it was at the end of City of Lost Souls. See you guys around later!**


	4. An Ultimatum

**A/N: Hey there guys! Thank you sooo much for all the wonderful reviews! I've read them all, and I love your feedback! Sorry I didn't update sooner, but I actually had a life this week, and I couldn't get around to writing until now. Hope you enjoy this chapter (we're back to Jem again!) **

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"I wouldn't get too excited if I were you," the Shadow Demon hissed, moving to drape his arm around Will's shoulders, the Shadowhunter looking mostly dazed and confused. He was just as Jem remembered when they were teenagers. There was no sign of old age or pain in his features, which were glazed over and yet just as familiar as if they had never left each other's sides. Jem barely processed the demon's words, his whole body and soul calling out for Will, begging to say all of the things he had never spoken aloud. Memories, like a roll of vintage film, ran across the backs of Jem's eyes, replaying all of his most treasured days with his friend. It blinded him with its force, and Jem's faded parabatai rune actually pounded against his skin so hard he almost fell over, taking the chair with him.

_"Jem! James Carstairs! Where are you, you disloyal bastard?"_

Jem bit his lip so hard blood burst out and coated his chin, making him look more feral than human, but he didn't care. All he could see were the back streets of London, the rooftops of old buildings, gleaming seraph blades, two boys laughing with their eyes closed as they pranked Jessamine in the snow during the harsh winters. He could smell the sewage and smoke, the blood and the water of the Thames. He could feel Will's cold hand slipping from his grasp the day he died, lying peacefully next to the two people he loved most in the world.

_"Don't be ordinary like that. Don't say you're sorry. Say you'll train with me."_

He could hear the bitterness in Will's voice when he spoke of the way the Council had treated Charlotte, and the gentle, yet slightly panicked tone he'd used when gripping Jem's sleeve in his trembling fingers, whispering, _"We are one person."_ When Jem shut his eyes, he could almost feel the wind blowing in from the river, recalling a day when Will had opened up to Jem for the first time, reminiscing openly about his family and his elder sister, Ella. There had been a surprising sadness in his gaze as he watched the currents of the water in front of them, and Jem would never forget the smile on his face when he spoke of her, and how she would reprimand him for rolling around in the dirt at their home in Wales. _"She always told me that Mam would be furious if I trotted home covered head to toe in muck, but I knew that my mother would never have the heart to yell at me, so long as she could see the childish grin I would have plastered on my face when I came running onto the porch. I suppose…I do miss her."_

"Will." His name was barely a breath on Jem's lips.

The blue-eyed boy tilted his head up to meet Jem's eyes once more, and Jem watched as a sudden clarity shone through his face until he was practically glowing. "James? Is that you, James?" he muttered, and Jem actually had to force himself to swallow back the almost insurmountable wave of tears that stung his eyes. Will smiled and reached his hand out, his fingers stretching towards Jem, but just as soon as he flung out his hand, another flew in and smacked it away forcefully, sending Will stumbling into the stone wall. Clumps of dirt and rock tumbled onto Will's hair and he coughed violently, propping himself up against the cool surface. Jem yelled and thrashed once more, his body shaking back and forth in an attempt to free himself and run to Will, to his parabatai and brother.

The hand that had hit Will's belonged to the Shadow Demon, and Jem gasped as reality flew back into focus again, reminding him that he was trapped down here by a demon who meant to use Tessa for some unknown purpose. "I told you not to get so excited," his clone snapped. "He's not alive. My kind can bring him here, but not back to life."

"I don't understand," Jem said, tasting the copper-like feel of his own blood where it coated his bottom lip. "He's isn't transparent. He doesn't look at all like any ghost I've ever heard about."

"I told you our power was special." The demon grinned evilly and strode towards Will, wrapping his fingers around the boy's wrist and squeezing once. Will did nothing, allowing the demon to touch him as if they were friends. _Will would never be all right with this, _Jem thought in alarm._ He would fight back. What is happening?_

Jem frowned and shouted, "Explain!"

The demon laughed, and Jem wasn't shocked to see Will's head shoot up, meeting the clone's gaze for the first time. "I feel like all I've been doing is explaining. It's getting rather boring, don't you agree?" Neither boy answered, and the demon sighed. "Very well. Our power is really quite simple. We can bring the dead to the land of the living, but that's not all. Our power extends far beyond that. We have the ability to make them one hundred percent human and alive again. They can feel pain," he paused to slap Will across the face, and Jem cried out in indignation on his friend's behalf. "They can cry and laugh and walk among the living, seen by all. They might as well have come back to life. But don't fool yourself into thinking Will is _truly_ alive. He is still dead, only he is…solid, for lack of a better word."

Will grazed his cheek with the back of his hand, a red mark welling up under his touch. He stared in amazement at the two men in front of him, exact replicas of each other, and Jem could practically hear his thoughts, just like when they were bonded through runes and blood. _He doesn't understand why he's here, or why there are two of me._

When the demon spoke again, his voice had changed to take on a British accent not unlike Jem's, finally turning him into the Shadowhunter's complete mirror image. "I've brought William here for one reason and one only. To keep you from leaving this room. Since I took your form I now know that you don't believe in—how did you put it?—the fiery pit, the pitchforks, or the endless torment."

The demon stepped forward until he was face to face with Jem, leaning down until their noses almost touched again. Jem glanced at the demon's black eyes and shuddered at his reflection staring back at him. "Well," he growled, his breath tickling Jem's face, "you better start believing, Nephilim. Where do you think I'm from?"

The demon stood back up and crossed his arms, jerking his head at Will, who was slumped almost motionlessly against the wall, his face shrouded in darkness. "If you try to leave this room, your friend here is going to burn in Hell. It does not matter where he was before. I've brought him to me now, and I can send him wherever I please. You try to escape, and William is going to spend eternity in an 'endless torment'."

Jem gritted his teeth together in anger and frustration, his eyes constantly moving to his parabatai in the corner. "I don't believe you," he said.

"Do you want to take that chance?" The demon paused on the threshold to glance back at Jem one last time, chuckling quietly. "Because, by all means, go ahead. But, when William disappears and finds himself in Hell, you can only blame yourself."

With that, the demon vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving Jem staring mystified after him.

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**A/N: Sorry it's a bit shorter than the others. I wanted to end it here, though. Tell me your thoughts, and I will see you around!**


	5. Ready For Anything

**A/N: I apologize greatly for how long it took for this update. I planned on going once a week, but it's been longer than a week, and I'm sorry for that! Anyway, enjoy chapter five!**

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"So this is it?" Magnus asked quizzically, gazing at the scorched land under their feet with an appropriate amount of curiosity and concern. "Well, I was certainly correct about this being the work of a demon."

Tessa nodded solemnly, thankful that London hadn't failed in its sworn duty to constantly litter the sky with various shades of black and grey clouds. Rain was imminent, and therefore most of the tourists and citizens had either departed back to their homes or scurried to a restaurant or shopping district for shelter. Taking a brief glance around what she could view of Hyde Park, Tessa saw almost no other people even remotely near her and Magnus. She was glad—staying focused would be much easier without the looming threat of passing strangers.

In front of the pair stood the giant willow tree Tessa and Jem had embraced under only a few hours earlier, and Tessa couldn't help the pang in her heart at the realization that Jem could be enduring intense pain right then because of her, and she wasn't reaching him fast enough. Below the tree resided their destination, a large circle made out of dead, blown grass that fanned out in an odd array of browns and dark greens. It strongly resembled the sight of a bombing. Tessa bent down to brush her hand across the surface, and possibly feel for any weak spots in the ground, but her palm was only met with solid dirt that did not cave in the slightest at the press of her hand. Damp wind from the oncoming storm rustled through the leaves and lifted Tessa's hair, and when she reached up to pull the strands away from her face, she was shocked to find that her fingers were trembling.

"You're shaking," Magnus pointed out, his tone undefinable. "I doubt it's from the cold."

"Whatever caused the grass to die and the land to be scorched currently has Jem," Tessa said softly, fearing that Magnus would hear the quaking of her voice if she spoke too loud. "I am sure you can understand my worry."

Magnus's cat eyes glistened as he knelt down to her height, and Tessa realized for the first time since they had left his flat that he was clutching a small black book in his arms. He caught her staring and whispered, "It has a spell in it, a fairly simple one that doesn't require any special preparation. I just need some space and quiet. Oh, and those candles," he added, pointing at the bag of wicks attached to Tessa's belt. "Would you light about ten of those for me, biscuit?"

Tessa, despite her growing terror for Jem, smirked slightly as she went to work. "So I'm a biscuit now, hm? I thought I was a cupcake?"

Magnus grinned and his teeth flashed in the light of the candles burning in front of him. "I have to shake things up and try new things every now and then," he said. His eyes softened, though from a recollection of a memory or just overall sadness of ages, Tessa wasn't positive. "After so long, you have to keep trying." His voice was distant, and for some reason, Tessa decided not to comment on the odd statement.

After placing the now burning candles along the edges of the circle, Tessa took a step back and allowed Magnus to do his job. The warlock held the spell book out in his hands and called over to her, "This will temporarily revive any magical or supernatural event that occurred on this ground. That means that if I do it right, then the portal should open again, and we can jump inside. Prepare yourself!"

_I will do whatever it takes to save you, Jem,_ thought Tessa fiercely, curling her hands into fists and staring intently at the dead grass. She barely heard the mutterings coming from Magnus's direction, but soon enough his ramblings proved valuable when the ground began to shake violently under their feet.

"You did it, Magnus!" Tessa yelled, smiling uncontrollably at the hope of seeing Jem again. He was probably so alone and no doubt terrified, but knowing him—and Tessa knew him better than anyone at this point—Jem was most likely fighting the demons off with bravery and skill, using the dominant Nephilim blood in his veins to take them down. "This is exactly how it started when the vortex appeared the first time!"

"Good to know!" he replied, just as the wind picked up and blew about their faces. Tessa had to force herself to hold her ground firmly when the earth seemed to rip apart once again, and a blinding white light erupted from below with a suction that sent Tessa's feet slipping across the grass wildly.

Magnus stuffed the spell book into his glittering jacket and motioned at Tessa. "Go ahead and allow it to pull you in!"

Tessa did just that, relaxing her limbs and closing her eyes tightly. The portal finally attached itself to her feet, and the next thing she knew, her head was cracking against the grass and she was being dragged under into an exploding pit of light.

When she finally opened her eyes, she was met with a cold, dank underground that smelled so strongly of sewage and iron that she felt as if she could taste it on her tongue. After careful consideration, Tessa realized it was only her own blood she felt in her mouth, probably from biting her lip when she had fallen through the portal. Slowly, she sat up, her head whirling from the plunge she had taken in order to make it to the strange, rotting earth below.

"Tessa, are you all right?" Magnus's voice floated over to her ears, and Tessa turned to find him brushing some dust and cobwebs from his designer jeans, grimacing at the stains left behind from the wet surface under them. Tessa noted that despite the soil and vine work that created walls around them, leading into a straight, seemingly endless hallway in front of them, the floor itself was made of solid cement, coated in water and sour smells that offended her nose. There were even small lanterns and torches lighting the way.

Tessa lifted herself to her feet, albeit shakily, and affirmed that she was fine. After taking a moment to regain her balance and adjust to the sudden decrease of oxygen in the air, she reached into her bag and pulled out some of Jem's clothes, ones he didn't wear very often because they were a bit too small. Perfect for her.

"Wait a minute, darling," Magnus warned at the sight of Tessa with the clothes in her grasp. "What exactly are you going to do with those?"

"Put them on, of course," she answered, gesturing at the warlock to turn around and give her privacy. He rolled his eyes, but complied, and Tessa swiftly stripped off her fitted tank and skinny jeans in exchange for Jem's sweater and dark trousers. They fit a little too loosely, but Tessa knew with absolute certainty that it wouldn't stay that way for long. Next, she reached into her bag and plucked a small black hair from the bottom, twirling it in her fingers. "I snatched this off the coat of a man we passed on the way here," she informed Magnus, waving the little hair proudly in front of her face. "I'm going to use it to Change into him."

Magnus narrowed his eyes and frowned. "Why, exactly?"

"You mentioned that these demons are shape-shifters, like me, right?" Magnus nodded, and Tessa continued her explanation with more passion. "That means that even if we find Jem, we can't trust for sure that it's really him. So, I am going to test him." Tessa smiled and hugged the hair close to her chest. "Jem has always been able to see through my disguises and transformations. It's as if there was never a Change on me in the first place. If it is really Jem, then he will see through this, and know it's me, not some strange man that's here to save him."

"Very clever," Magnus acknowledged, watching closely as Tessa allowed the Change to envelope her for the first time in many, many years. She had almost forgotten what it felt like to transform into someone else, as if a heavy costume was suddenly being shoved onto her person. After her skin stopped rippling, and her weight felt slightly heavier, Tessa opened her eyes and glanced down, relieved to find that the Change had worked. She was now a young man, and ready to find Jem.

Tessa turned to face the darkness ahead of them, praying that Jem was somewhere beyond those walls. He would finally be safe again, in her arms. He would be all right. _He had to be._

"I'm coming, Jem," she whispered, and ran towards the darkness, Magnus close on her heels.

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**A/N: As always, REVIEWS ARE WONDERFUL. The more feedback I receive, the more likely I will feel confident enough to continue this story. Thanks to those who have reviewed/favorited/followed this, it means a lot :)**

**I hope to have chapter six up a lot sooner! Thanks again and don't forget to drop a review! See you guys later!**


	6. A Second Chance

**A/N: I'm on vacation, so the next chapter probably will not be up for a few more days, but until then, enjoy chapter 6 of Shadow Self! We're back to Will and Jem's reunion!**

**Thanks again for all of the lovely reviews! It makes my day, really! You all make me smile so big when I see you freak out about this story. THANK YOU :)**

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Minutes felt like hours in their enclosed space, and Jem's hair was beginning to curl from the sweat on his forehead and the nape of his neck by the time Will finally deigned to speak. When the demon left, Jem decided the best choice was to remain silent, despite how desperately he wished to talk with his parabatai. The words were there, lingering in the air waiting to be spoken, however Will would have to be the first to grab ahold of them and mold them to his desire. Eventually, when impatience was just starting to make its way into Jem's nerves, the blue-eyed man spoke.

"If this is Heaven, it is sadly lacking in proper décor."

The sentence was so simple, and yet so utterly reminiscent of the William Herondale that Jem had known so long ago, that he couldn't help but let a few stray tears escape his eyes, his breath coming in short pants not from the lack of breathable air, but from being thrown so far into the past with such incredible force that he could do nothing but gasp helplessly. "This is the farthest thing from Heaven, Will," Jem whispered. "If you ask me, it is much closer to Hell."

Will glanced up at his friend, and his eyes met Jem's for the second time since he had appeared in a ring of smoke and memories. "I do not think my mind can handle all of these questions. So, I suppose I will ask firstly, where am I exactly?"

Jem sighed and leaned back against the rickety chair, wincing at the jarring pain in his wrists. Will's gaze travelled to the white rope that bound him, and quickly rushed to his knees, busying his fingers with the ties in order to release his parabatai. Jem thanked him and answered, "We're underground, but that is all I've gathered about our location. As for your question, I guess it is only right that I tell you that you are not in the thirty's anymore."

Will laughed and Jem committed the sound to memory. "I have realized this, James. Last I saw you, you were of the Brotherhood."

Jem nodded. "The year is 2008—"

"—_what?_"

Jem watched as Will worked him free of the rope around his ankles. He stretched his legs out and continued while Will moved on to his wrists. "Yes, and I am no longer a Silent Brother. There was a war, a great, terrible war that threatened the dismemberment of everything we Shadowhunters have ever known. The battle was led by a teenager no less, but he was like nothing I nor you had ever seen. The only positive side of the war was what became of me. It would take too long to explain, and it's not important, but the point is that I am no longer a Brother, and I am cured."

Jem let the words sink in, allowing Will the time he needed to cope with such a transition. He could not imagine what his blood brother must have been going through, but Will's gaze was steady and his hands did not tremble as he ripped the rope off Jem's skin. _Then again, I suppose it does make sense considering Will's personality, _Jem thought._ Gathering information and strategizing a plan for action is just like him. _

Will hissed through his teeth when his eyes caught sight of the damage done to Jem's flesh, courtesy of the damned rope. Blood seeped from a thick cut that ringed both of his wrists, and when Jem attempted to bend them, white-hot pain exploded through his arms and he had to bite his tongue to keep from crying out. "There is nothing I can do for them," Will said dejectedly, falling back on his heels. "Anyways, I thought Silent Brothers could not leave the Brotherhood once they joined?"

"I was always unlike the other Brothers," Jem reminded him gently, rubbing his eyes free of the dust that had clouded his vision for so long. "Some of their rules never applied to me."

"Well," Will replied merrily, "I bet without all the bruises and scrapes and overall general shit that has caked your hair and face, you'd look fantastic."

"Thanks, Will, that's much appreciated." Jem's response was sarcastic, but secretly his heart soared at the fact that Will had not changed, even after his sort-of-resurrection. Will could tell him to sing the demon pox song and dance like a lunatic right there in that room, and Jem would do it, just for the sake of getting to hear his best friend laugh again. "Tessa hasn't quite gotten used to it yet, but—"

He broke off abruptly, remembering the girl for the first time since he had seen Will. Guilt washed over him for forgetting about her for even a second, knowing what that demon could have been doing to her right then. He had just been so caught up in his reunion with Will and all of the things he wished to say to his parabatai that he had completely blocked out the horrible fate of the woman he loved. "Tessa…"

Will's body went frigid, and he glanced at Jem with worry, curiosity, and if Jem was seeing things correctly, slight frustration. "If you tell me that you were released from the Brotherhood and you did not go after her, so help me God I will strangle you where you sit."

"Wha—huh?" Jem stuttered, baffled beyond coherent thought. Of all the responses Jem had anticipated from Will, that was not one of them. "What do you mean?"

Will expelled a long breath, as if it was blatantly obvious and he was irritated that he had to actually explain it. "I died, what, eighty-some years ago?" Jem nodded. "Well then, knowing our Tessa, she spent those eighty years wallowing in grief and hating herself, am I right?"

Jem closed his eyes, recalling the many nights he had awoken to Tessa's quiet sobs, and how he had pulled her into his arms and whispered into her hair until she finally calmed down enough to sleep again. She never spoke of the nightmares, though he knew exactly when they happened and what occurred during them by the sounds of her screams that kept him awake. He did not pry, though he urgently wished to know what he could do to help her. He was aware of her reluctance to speak on the subject, and he did not blame her. Yes, her grief, to this day, remained as surely as her love for Will.

"She spent a great deal of her days after your death in anguish and depression," he told Will honestly. "Although, you must understand, your death tore her apart. She is burdened with immortality, and she is quickly losing everyone she's ever known and loved."

"I do understand," Will said quietly, running a hand through his black hair anxiously. "I've seen her when she is grieving over someone she loves. You must remember that I was the one who had to tell her in Cadair Idris that you died, though I did not know at the time that you were still alive. You may not wish to know, but Tessa was in agony. She—she crumpled in on herself. She practically ran away from me in that room, begging me not to say it aloud. She was absolutely destroyed by the news. "

Jem said nothing out of pure shock. He had no idea that Tessa had been that upset upon hearing that he had supposedly died. She had told him that it was one of the darkest days of her life, but he had assumed she was exaggerating; he was not worthy of her nor was he worth her tears. But now, he was hit strongly by just how wrong he was about them, about himself.

"What I mean is that you are cured now, and you cannot imagine what joy that brings me to hear. But, it also means that now is your chance, James, for happiness." Jem was struck speechless. Will only ever used his full name when he meant to be either joking, or completely serious, and Jem knew it was the latter. "Tessa needs you, and you need her. Please tell me the both of you have taken advantage of this rare opportunity. Because if you have not, then I will march out of here, kick that demon's ass, find Tessa, pick her up, and drag her here to you with my bare hands."

Jem had been listening with equal amazement and surprise, but it quickly turned into a peal of laughter that he could not stop, and did not wish to either. Will narrowed his eyes. "What are you cackling about?" he demanded, his tone annoyed.

"It is just that—that I am so happy right now, Will, truly I am. I met up with Tessa at Blackfriar's Bridge, and she told me she still loved me, for she loves us both."

Will smiled, and his eyes lit up. "And now you two are together, yes?"

Jem chuckled and stood from his place in the chair, watching as Will made his way back to his feet as well. They were only inches apart now, and Jem had to keep himself from reaching out to touch his friend, to affirm that he was really there, joking and laughing with him and making Jem feel for the first time that perhaps there was a silver lining in all of the drama with the Shadow Demon. Could that demon really have brought his friend back to him, even if only for a short period of time?

"Yes, Will," he said with a grin. Will matched his expression, and before he could stop himself, Jem grabbed Will's sleeve and pulled him into one of the biggest and most embarrassing hugs he had ever given. Will clung tight to him, and the two of them practically shook in the circle of each other's arms.

Will muttered into Jem's ear, "I am so happy for you, brother, and for Tessa as well. I am beyond glad that she was able to open her heart again, and that you two finally have your chance to love once more."

Jem pulled back, ignoring the pain in his wrists and asking a question that he had been harboring in the back of his mind since Will returned to him. "What do you last remember?"

Will frowned. "Truthfully, nothing. I remember lying in bed, holding your hand and feeling Tessa's head lying on my shoulder. Then I felt peaceful and everything was silent and black. The next thing I knew I was appearing in front of you, here. I assume I must have gone somewhere, but my memories were erased."

Jem had thought as much, but it was still reassuring to hear. "I believe the demon brought you back in the form of your teenage self in order to make it harder for me to let you go, since this is how I best remember you. I doubt the demon is going to keep you here in the land of the living forever. You are only here to keep me from leaving this room."

Silence passed through the air once again, and the boys met gazes, both knowing what the other was about to say next, but neither willing to put it into words.

"That demon wants Tessa," Will said.

"And we need to stop him," Jem finished, as the sound of boots clicking on the ground echoed behind the door.

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**A/N: Well, what did you guys think? I tried my best! Please please please with cherries on top review or at least drop a note with what you think about how this is progressing. Even just a few words! I meant it when I said it makes my day to read about your thoughts and theories. Drop a note to me and I will see you guys around later!**


	7. Tricked

**A/N: Wow, guys, I am so incredibly sorry for how long it took me to update! It's been probably two weeks now, and I apologize for the wait! This chapter is a bit longer, and I think it ends on an interesting note, so hopefully it will make up for me taking so long to update! Sorry again!**

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"Hello? Is someone there?"

Tessa stopped dead upon hearing Jem's voice, distant and muffled as if trying to speak from behind something—a door. She spun and faced the underground wall to her right, covered in dirt and muck, sticks and vines, and reeking of a stench so foul Tessa had no choice but to plug her nose and cough into her shoulder. She could hear Magnus behind her, his feet shuffling alongside her, following her lead.

She gazed at him out of the corner of her eye. "Did you hear that? It sounded like Jem."

Magnus nodded and glanced up and around the dark hallway, obviously noting that there appeared to be no doors anywhere in the area, only soil, puddles of river water, and cement flooring. "There must be some sort of door," he muttered, half to himself. "It doesn't make sense that there would be a carved out tunnel this far underground, with a cement pathway, unless someone was living in it."

Tessa agreed, her line of thought already headed in that direction. She had most definitely heard Jem, but even if she had not, she would have believed that he was down there. "Do you think the shadow demons are residing here?" she asked, receiving only an unknowing shrug from her companion. "They seem more powerful than any demon I have heard about, or seen."

"Yes," Magnus replied, his cat eyes glowing in the shadows. "They are breaking all rules known to their kind, though they don't have many to begin with. This is a dangerous demon, Tessa, and I know you already are aware of that, but I felt it needed to be said again."

Tessa could hear the slight tremor in his voice, oddly uncharacteristic of him, and she quickly placed a hand on his arm, smiling up at him despite knowing that the face he was looking at was not her own, but that of a middle-aged Englishman. Her words were laced with a deep, throaty growl whenever she spoke, and she hoped she could lose the Change soon. She did not like the memories surfacing in this man's mind.

"I will be careful." She dropped her voice, speaking in as quiet a tone as possible. "Not even demons can see my through my Change. This will work."

Tessa returned to the wall without another word, bent on finding some kind of secret passage or trap door. She called out, pretending to be nervous and confused, "Did I just hear someone? Is there somebody down here?"

Jem's voice came again, a bit louder this time, and Tessa's heart flew with excitement when he said, "Yes! I am tied to a chair, though, so it may be difficult for you to find me, as I cannot open the door."

She turned to find Magnus using rapid waves of his hands to separate the vines and brush the dirt from the walls, revealing that there were in fact multiple rusty metal doors lining the sides of the tunnel. They were tall and wide, larger than a normal bedroom door would be. Tessa blew out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"Which door are you behind?" she questioned, simultaneously jiggling the handles of each door they passed. "There are quite a few here, sir." _Locked, every one of them_.

"I don't know! I haven't left the room since I woke up here," Jem answered, though Tessa realized his voice sounded closer than when she had heard him last. She took another step down the hallway, her boots clicking loudly against the cement, splashing into the puddles of water and soaking her feet through the socks. "Who are you, and how did you find me?"

Tessa motioned at Magnus to follow her, pressing her finger against her lips to tell him to stay silent. She hoped desperately that this man really was Jem, but if he was an imposter, then surely he would know of a powerful warlock such as Magnus Bane. She had to keep his identity a secret for now. "My name is Greg Pastors," she said, reaching into the man's memories and pulling out his name, like ripping out a page from a book. "I was on my way to work this morning when some strange hole in the ground sucked me in here. I have no idea what's going on and, frankly, I am thoroughly freaked out."

Magnus narrowed his eyes at her, mouthing, _"What kind of explanation is that?"_ She bit her lip and threw her hands in the air wildly.

"It was the only thing I could come up with in this short period of time," she hissed softly, watching the warlock shake his head as if she had some sort of screw loose in her brain.

Jem's voice appeared again, and this time she swore it sounded like it was emanating from the door on her immediate left. "I will explain what I can to you, sir, if you just help me escape. You may not wish to know this, but there are some creatures down here the likes of which you have never seen before."

"I am starting to see that," she said back, pointing at the door she believed Jem to be inside. Magnus caught on and nodded, placing his hand gently on the door handle. With a loud screech that caused Tessa to cover her—the man's—ears in pain, the door swung open, revealing a small, dirty, and nearly empty space before them.

Tessa's nerves jumped when her eyes adjusted from the lack of light to find Jem, hunched over in a creaky wooden chair, his wrists and ankles bound by some kind of white rope. His head was down, and he was breathing heavily, his face and dark hair caked with dirt and blood. Tessa, momentarily forgetting her plan in her relief and delight, proceeded to rush forward, her only thoughts on freeing Jem and whisking him away from this dank, terrifying underground. But she was abruptly stopped by a tight grip on her forearm, and when she turned her head angrily, she was met with Magnus's steady gaze searching her face.

He shook his head faintly, and she forced herself to calm down and not reveal her emotions just yet. She had to test him first, make sure he was the real Jem. _Her_ Jem.

Jem raised his head slightly, and his eyes found hers instantly, widening in shock as he took her in. She glanced down to see that everything was in order, and sure enough the Change had not disappeared. It was then that he spoke, and Tessa nearly collapsed at the sound of his words, soft and gentle.

"Wha—wait a minute. I do not understand. Tessa, is that you?"

"James," she whispered, barely able to breath from the lack of oxygen in the air, and yet she did not care, for she had found him, the real him. He had seen through her disguise, just like he always did. No demon could do that. She let the Change fall away, as if shrugging off a heavy coat, and was revealed before him as herself, her long brown hair falling down her back at the force of the transformation. "It's really you."

Jem smiled, his whole face lighting up at the sight of her, and she still could not get over how beautiful he was, even covered head to toe in dirt, streaks of mud on his cheeks and chin. His smile still lit up the room, giving it a semblance of life. She ran towards him, dropping to her knees and cupping his face in her hands, which were trembling uncontrollably.

"Were you testing me?" he asked, leaning into her touch. She nodded mutely, and he continued, his eyes heavy with exhaustion. "Then you must know what took me, and tried to steal you. He called himself a Shadow Demon, and he had the ability to transform into me, just like your power, only much stronger."

"I know," Tessa said, pulling herself up so she could rest her forehead against his. He sighed and she watched as his eyelashes grazed the tops of his cheekbones. "These demons, like me, can reach into a person's thoughts and memories, so I knew I had to come up with something, a test that only the real you would be able to pass."

Jem grinned, his breathing dying down to a slower rhythm. "Of course you would Change. That is so clever of you, my Tessa. I will always see through it, to the woman I love underneath."

Tears threatened to fall from her eyes, and Tessa mentally shook herself, focusing on loosening the knots that bound Jem's wrists and ankles. Eventually, after quite a bit of tugging and grunting, she was able to pull them far apart enough that he could escape from the chair. He stood fully, and she followed suit, until they were both on their feet, only inches of space between them. Tessa, not caring about the dirt on his face, grabbed Jem's collar and pulled him until their lips met, belatedly realizing that he even kissed her the same way she was used to. There was no way a demon could replicate that; no way would it be able to ignite the same fire in her chest that spread out like a firework until she was gasping against his mouth.

A cough shattered the silence, and Tessa broke away from Jem to find Magnus leaning in the doorway, his arms crossed and his cat eyes glowing with an emotion she could not place. "As glad as I am that you two have found each other, _again_, I would really like to return to my humble abode, so if you will…" he trailed off, gesturing at the tunnel hallway behind him.

"Do you know where the demon went?" Tessa asked Jem, taking his hand in hers and pressing their palms together. He shook his head, leading her out of the room, which she just noticed was crawling with spiders and other more exotic bugs. She shivered and pressed closer to Jem.

"That is actually why I am so glad that you found me, Tess," he said once they exited into the tunnel. "You see, the demon told me he was going after you. I was so worried that he would trick you into believing he was me, and that I would be stuck here, underground, tied up and unable to help you." His voice wavered, and she lightly kissed his cheek, trying to reassure him that all was well now.

Magnus unlocked the rest of the doors, pushing each one open slowly, and Tessa inquired as to what he was trying to accomplish.

"Well, cupcake, I highly doubt this demon was only keeping James down here. I thought I would check and see if there are any others trapped in this less than desirable tunnel."

Jem squeezed Tessa's hand and followed after the warlock, Tessa close behind him. "That is a very good idea, Magnus," he said, peering in to each of the other rooms, which were all just as dirty and foul smelling, though empty as well. "I cannot imagine what any others may be going through."

"I must have been wrong," Magnus admitted, staring into the last empty room, this one filled with a bit more smoke than the others. "There appears to be no others down here."

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Jem listened closely to the footsteps, possibly two pairs if he was hearing correctly, and hoped to the Angel above that they didn't belong to more Shadow Demons. Will was restless behind him, pacing back and forth and muttering unintelligible phrases in Welsh. Were he still a Silent Brother, Jem would have understood him; now it sounded like nothing more than gibberish.

"Who do those footsteps belong to, do you think?" Will asked his _parabatai_, blue eyes alight with impatience. Jem shrugged and made his way to the door, pressing his ear against the rusted metal. There was a faint click, and then the door suddenly swung open, smacking him in the face and sending him sprawling onto the floor. Will bolted towards his blood brother, kneeling down to catch his head before it could smack the ground. Jem thanked him and glanced up, praying he wouldn't come face to face with a demon. He was too weak in this state to fight anything.

What came into view was the last person he expected. Magnus Bane stood on the threshold, his fingers sparkling with a light blue glow. The warlock's gaze filtered through the smoky atmosphere, and passed straight over Jem and Will, confusing both boys greatly.

"Magnus?" Will muttered, helping Jem to his feet. "Well, you have not aged since I last saw you. You look great, not a day over three-hundred."

"I don't think he can see you, William," Jem said, puzzled at the odd way Magnus was looking at the room, as if Jem and Will were not inside of it at all. "In fact, I don't think he can see either of us."

Magnus spoke then, his head turned to look at two figures standing in the shadows of the tunnel. Jem attempted to make out their identities, but they were blending too well with the darkness that surrounded them.

"I must have been wrong," Magnus announced to the couple. "There appears to be no others down here."

_No,_ Jem thought miserably. _He cannot see us. Somehow, that demon has us glamoured so strongly that not even a powerful warlock like Magnus can see past it._

Will gasped, and Jem felt him go completely rigid against his back. Jem followed his friend's line of sight until he was met with the mysterious couple once again, and his heart stopped when they finally stepped into the light of a torch above them.

Tessa, and the Shadow Demon, hand in hand. The demon stared at Jem and winked, an evil smile appearing on his face before he tugged Tessa away from the room, and out of the boy's sight.

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**A/N: Well, was that worth the wait? Looks like this demon is more powerful than Jem, Magnus, or Tessa had suspected! As always, please drop a review, or a note, or anything to tell me what you thought of this chapter. I would greatly appreciate it! See you guys at the next update!**


	8. Breaking Currents

**A/N: Wow, this update is...almost 2 months late. I have no excuses, other than the fact that I started college and don't have as much free time as I used to. I am a worm, a worthless worm *bows* I apologize, but hopefully this will make up for the incredibly late update? Pretty steamy, if I say so myself.**

**Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing but the plot I came up with for the fic!**

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"Should we pursue the Shadow Demon at all, do you think?" Tessa asked Jem as she moved some wine glasses into the respective cabinet above her. The kitchen light was on, but flickering faintly, and Tessa supposed she would have to replace it soon. Odd, though, she had just put in a new one nearly a month ago.

She heard some slight shuffling noises behind her, and then Jem's breath against her ear as he whispered, "Is it really our job to do so? I can contact the Shadowhunters of the New York Institute." His lips grazed the skin of her neck and she involuntarily shivered. "They owe me a favor, anyways," he added, and she felt the gentle movements of his mouth even deeper than her bones.

A small part of her wanted to object, but for some reason the words just would not form themselves into coherent thought. And Jem was right; she hated the amount of danger they had been put in already, and it was really best to let the New York Shadowhunters take it on rather than her and Jem. Strangely enough, she never would have believed that under different circumstances. Perhaps she was feverish? Then again, it could have been the result of Jem's hands at her hips and his chest along her back.

Tessa felt abruptly overcome with an urge to press herself against him, to reassure herself that he was really here, and wasn't going to leave her again. Just as he started to pull away, Tessa spun in the circle of his arms and hooked her hands on his neck, drawing him in to kiss her. He responded fervently, his hips aligning with hers and his lips opening under her ministrations. She gasped as he lifted her onto the kitchen counter and his fingers drifted under her skirt. Her mind was swirling and her thoughts were toppling over each other until she could do nothing but relax under his touch and allow him to take charge. Normally, considering Jem's past with the Brothers, Tessa was the one to dominate the relationship, teaching him and showing him what to do. He had needed very little instruction though, and he showed it then as his violinist hands sent her falling over the edge. Her head dropped back, smacking the cabinet, and the wine glasses she had just returned shook and tumbled from the shelf, crashing onto the linoleum and scattering shards near their feet.

"Tessa, are you—"

She placed her hand on his arm, her head still resting against the wooden cabinet and her eyes closed tightly. "Just—" her throat choked up and she expelled a long breath, vaguely wondering if they should be moving away from the kitchen and to a more suitable environment for this kind of activity. "Just don't stop, all right?" _Forget it,_ Tessa thought with a random burst of bravado. _I don't think I will last long enough to make it to the bedroom._

Tessa yanked his shirt off and gazed anxiously at the scratches and blood on his chest and arms thanks to the Shadow Demon's torture, but before she could say a word, Jem kissed her again, telling her through touch that he was all right, and he wanted to pretend it never happened. She complied, allowing him to remove her own shirt. Their bare skins touched, and Tessa practically cried out—his touch was like fire, a burning she had never experienced with him before. Every nerve spiked and she dug her nails into his back, not bothering to care if she added another cut to his framework of bruises. She locked her legs around his waist and pressed her lips against the juncture of his neck, trembling as he moved to unclasp her bra—

"Ah!" Tessa shrieked when her left hand came into contact with a sharp object in the center of the table next to the counter they were pressed against. She glanced up through her haze of desire and her eyes took in the sight of one of Jem's seraph blades, lying carelessly on the table. He had brought them out a day earlier, and they had decided after much debate to keep them just in case of emergency. He couldn't completely let go of his bloodline, and she didn't want him to either.

Tessa sighed and dropped her head lazily onto Jem's shoulder. "I have never trusted myself with those weapons," she muttered airily. "I don't know where you keep them, though. Should you put them away?"

Jem tensed and his hands braced themselves on the edge of the counter. His eyes were glued to the blades as if they were some snake about to strike. Tessa watched him lick his lips before shaking his head, turning to face her again. "I'm sure they will be fine there for the time being," he said, but Tessa wasn't convinced.

"I still think they should be hidden somewhere in case we need them, and because I'm only half-Shadowhunter, they don't really like it when I mess with them. You know that." She fixed him with a pointed look, her fingers running through his dark hair. She hopped off the counter and sauntered in the direction of the bedroom. "Just put them away, and meet me in here, okay?"

Jem spun to look at her, and she narrowed her eyes when she saw the fear and disgust lingering in his own. "I, um, really don't think…" his voice trailed off and he swallowed, nervously shuffling away from the seraph blades.

"Are you scared of them?" Tessa asked incredulously, her hands on her hips. _That makes no sense, _she thought in confusion. _Unless..._

_ Oh my God._

Tessa's heart plummeted into her stomach and she attempted to mask her sudden fright with a look of anger, jabbing her finger at the weapons. "James, for God's sake, just move them!" she yelled. _You won't though, will you? No, you'll stay as far away from those Angel blades as your demon self will let you._

Jem grit his teeth together, and Tessa bit her lip. She couldn't believe it—she had been fooled. The Shadow Demon was so powerful that he had even seen through her disguise. She had been wrong in thinking that there were only things Jem could do, actions that a demon could not replicate. She had been very wrong indeed.

Jem broke out into a grin suddenly, and his head turned at an awkward angle, black eyes meeting hers with a flash of fury. "I see I've been found out, hm?" he said, and Tessa started when she realized belatedly that his accent had dropped and was replaced with the American one she had herself. "I suppose I hadn't planned for Jem to have some Angel weapons lying about. How very inconvenient."

He took a step forward and Tessa gripped the doorframe, warning him, "Don't you dare come near me."

"Why not? You were so friendly with me a few minutes ago." Jem—the demon—chuckled and picked up her blouse from the floor, brushing off the remains of the wine glasses and spinning the material in his fingertips. Tessa's stomach rolled with nausea. She had let him touch her—

"Where is he?" Tessa demanded, slowly moving towards the counter, and the blades. "Where is Jem?"

The demon shrugged, and Tessa nearly lost her footing when he announced, "Why does it matter? He is long dead by now, and you're the one to blame. I guess you don't know Jem as well as you thought you did, huh?"

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**A/N: Again, I am so sorry it took me forever to update, but thank you to those still holding on. I will try to be better about continuing this, but this is a time when reviews and notes would be very helpful. I need to know if anyone is still reading this, and what your thoughts are, so please drop a note! Thanks guys :)**

**See ya later!**


	9. Angel Fire

**A/N: I apologize ahead of time for the shortness of this chapter compared to the others, but I didn****'t want to get back to Will and Jem until the next installment. BUT! As an apology, I bring you this wonderful moment. I tried to keep it upper PG-13 though, since I did give this story a T rating. Hope you enjoy ;)**

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"_I cannot lose you again, Jem," Tessa whispered__,__ running her hands along his bare shoulders. Jem shuddered above her, his head resting in the crook of her neck. He listened to the pounding of her pulse as he drew his own hand along the length of her thigh, reveling in the breath that escaped her lips in short pants__._

_He kissed her hard, feeling the edge of her blouse lift until she pulled back to remove it herself. She fell down against the pillows, her hair fanned out around her, stark against the white of the sheets. Jem's heart soared at the sight of her underneath him, beautiful and ageless and perfect and _his_. "Please, stop saying those things," he urged her, brushing his thumb across her cheek. "I am right here, and I am not leaving you. Not for a long while."_

_Tessa frowned at his last statement, but before she could comment on it, he leaned down and kissed her collarbone, almost crying out when she responded with a low moan and her back arched under him. Their hips met for a moment, and Jem unwillingly gasped. _No,_ his thoughts echoed through the mass chaos of desire inside his mind. _I need to pull away before this goes too far—

_"James," Tessa's voice was barely a murmur against his hair. He met her eyes, and saw that her pupils were large and the normal grey clouds had darkened markedly. She blushed prettily and pushed against his chest, forcing him off of her. Jem opened his mouth to apologize—ashamed that despite all his years, he still could not control himself around her—but Tessa shoved at his shoulders and forced him down on the mattress, sprawling herself across his chest. Her curls draped over him like a wedding veil as she traced her tongue along his bottom lip. He groaned and tossed his head back, trying to think properly despite the raging need coursing through his veins. Tessa's legs were tight around his waist, and her skirt was bunched up so far it was practically non-existent. _

I should be stoned to death for the things I am thinking right now,_ Jem thought miserably. _

_Tessa's lips traveled away from his mouth and onto his shoulder, and Jem glanced down to see her kissing her way down his chest, her eyes locked with his the whole time. Jem's skin was on fire, his nerves jumping with every soft, smooth slide of her mouth on his stomach. He wanted to touch her, to kiss her, to make her feel even a fraction of the pleasure he was at that moment. However, Tessa seemed perfectly content with her place on top of him, and truthfully, he didn't want to move an inch. His toes curled and his jaw clenched as he felt Tessa's lips on his hipbone, a kiss that felt like being stabbed with a hot poker. _

_As she made her way back up to him, he muttered, "Tessa, you know that I love you, but—"_

_ "I love you too, Jem," she interrupted, her face so close to his that he couldn't tell where she left off and he began. Their hearts were pounding together as she kissed him again, allowing their lips to part. "I want this, please."_

_Jem trembled under her touch as her fingers trailed the waistband of his jeans. "I want this as well, but this is not exactly how I imagined it."_

_Tessa smiled, her eyes lighting up. "Well," she said huskily, "I didn't exactly picture us in this time period when this happened, either, so I suppose we will have to work with it. And Jem, times have changed."_

_ "I know, but still, are you sure?"_

_ There was an expressive, powerful intimacy in Tessa's gaze when she replied__,__ "Yes."_

_Jem relaxed underneath her—_

The Shadow Demon whistled in a low voice, running a hand through his—Jem's—hair. "Wow, Tessa, may I just say that you are quite gorgeous without any clothes on. At least, Jem thought so."

Tessa's chest contracted and she felt herself nearly faint at the idea that the demon was sifting through Jem's most private memories, learning every part of him, and seeing things only she and Jem shared. "What are you doing?" she asked firmly.

The demon smirked and took a step forward, towards Tessa. "Just trying to explore more of your and Jem's relationship. I just viewed your first time sleeping with him, and," he laughed under his breath, "whew, I think I'm getting a little hot under the collar. That boy had some skill for a hundred-year old virgin. Too bad he's dead now. Such a waste of talent."

Tessa's eyes shot to her left, where the seraph blades were still resting on the counter. They glinted dangerously in the afternoon light drifting through the windows. _If only I can make it there before he realizes what I'm doing_, she thought frantically.

"He's not dead!" she exclaimed. "I refuse to believe that. Demons lie, and I—"

The demon chuckled and leaned against the sink, crossing his arms in a proud stance that didn't suit Jem's body. "I'm a lot like you, Tessa, really I am. I can shift into the dead as well as the living." His eyes sparkled. "Would you like me to change into Will Herondale? You can talk to him again, love with him again. Who needs Jem, when you can have your late husband back?"

Tessa's knees buckled and she stumbled, her focus no longer on the blades. She had finally let go, had accepted that her Will was gone forever. She would never see him again, and it broke her heart every single day, but together she and Jem had worked through the grief. Moving on, letting go, all of it had been so much easier with Jem to help share the pain. She didn't know how she would react should she see Will now, after everything they had all been through. But, she was aware of one crucial fact, one choice.

"All I want is for you to get the hell out of my house before I rip you to shreds," she snapped.

The demon's gaze followed Tessa's until they were both staring at the angel weapons. "No," he snarled. "You wouldn't—"

_Angel Raziel, please allow me to use these!_ Tessa prayed, before leaping for the blades.

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**A/N: Again, sorry for how short this is, but I plan for the next chapter to be much longer. And, expect some more Will next time :) **

**Oh, and as a reminder, again, reviews are a sure fire way of making certain that I update. It sounds horrible, but I have less motivation to continue when I don't have feedback from the people reading this, so please, I'm begging you, review! **

**Bye, guys, and thanks for the follows/favorites!**


	10. Parabatai

**A/N: This is a much longer chapter, and it's all Will and Jem! This will move the plot forward some more, and I really hope you guys enjoy it. I will say right now that it didn't turn out how I wanted it to, and it's not my best work, but I have a weakness when it comes to writing explanations. Also, what is about to transpire involves an obstacle that, in all honesty, I don't know how these two would traverse, since they only dealt with it briefly in Clockwork Princess (you will understand when you get to it). Anyway, enjoy I hope!**

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The temperature in the room had plummeted catastrophically by the time Will spoke again. Jem had his hands braced on the back of the chair he had been strapped in moments earlier, and he was mustering every ounce of strength he had to keep himself standing upright, despite the chill nearly numbing his legs.

Jem's teeth were chattering and his lips probably resembled a blueberry by that point, but Will seemed completely unaffected by the cold as he said in a steady voice, "What do you suppose that demon even wants from Tessa? I doubt he wishes to sit her down with a cup of tea and chat about fashion trends. And even if that was the case, which is most assuredly is not, I am better suited for that sort of activity, anyways. I mean, did you see what Tessa was wearing only a moment ago? That sweater was hideous."

"That was my sweater."

For a moment, neither of them spoke, and Jem knew exactly—as he always had—what Will was thinking on. They were acting like themselves again, Will and Jem, _parabatai_ and brothers. But it wasn't until they both broke out into a fit of laughter that Jem truly felt like a boy again, lying in front of the fireplace, whispering secrets to each other in the dead of night, Will having come to Jem's room to check on him after a nightmare. The little ankle kicks they did under the dining table, the food fights in the kitchen when Agatha was gone shopping, and the dreadful night in Will's room when they had tried alcohol for the first time and drank so much they were left sick and hiccupping on the carpet until all hours. Jem even recalled their hopeless attempt to hide their giggles and flushed cheeks the next morning, bright-faced, yet weary of the witchlights in such an obvious manner that Charlotte had later taken to moving the wine to an unknown area of the Institute until they were old enough to drink responsibly.

It was both a pleasant feeling and a dizzying one, to be hit with so many memories all at once. And yet, it forced Jem to understand the Shadow Demon's point in bringing Will back as a teenager rather than a seventy-year old man. It would be almost impossible to let him go now, and to bury those precious memories and treasures again, shoving them into the back of his mind so he would not have to remember them and deal with the pain of missing his closest friend in the world.

Turning from the chair and leaning up against the cement wall, Jem rubbed his hands together in a feeble attempt to circulate some blood through his body. "Well, he never said anything specific, though I am sure it's nothing good." Jem frowned. "My question is, why is he keeping me alive? Would it not be simpler to just kill me?"

Will sauntered over to his friend and pried his shoulders from the wall. "The cool air is traveling through the walls," he explained, using one of his hands to brush the dust off of Jem's shirt. "And I do see what you mean. Dear God, my head hurts from all these questions."

"I would expect you to be able to figure this out, William," Jem encouraged with a smile, though his heart hurt at the sight of his parabatai's visible anxiety. _The dead were never meant to walk the earth in this way,_ he thought despondently. _His spirit is restless, I can feel it._

"I have not been required to strategize a plan or sort through a mystery like this since before I retired from Shadowhunting," Will said. "I fear my brain is too rusted up with cobwebs and the sort."

Jem sighed, kicking his shoe in the direction of one of the corners. "There are plenty of cobwebs here, so you should feel right at home," he remarked, trying for a light tone.

"I feel this is an accurate representation of what the insides of my mind look like right now." Will's blue eyes met Jem's, and the previous grinned, taking a step closer to his friend. "Now that you have been rubbing all of the dirt off your face, I am starting to see the changes in you, James. Your eyes, especially. I've never seen them so dark, not even as children. They were laced with silver when we first met."

Jem nodded, but grimaced, unwilling to delve into the darker memories that Will brought with him. It wasn't his fault, but—

"Quick question, Jem," Will's voice rose, and Jem recognized the flare to it—he had come up with an idea, and he had no choice but to share it. "How far do you reckon Tessa will go with that demon?"

Jem pulled down the sleeve of his shirt and wrapped it around his fingers, using it to apply pressure to his forehead. He could feel the blood there, sticky and warm against the skin, seeping through the cloth. "How do you mean?"

Will let out a long breath, his gaze no longer anywhere near Jem's. He scratched the back of his head and ran his hand through his hair, shifting back and forth on the balls of his feet. He opened his mouth once to speak, but stopped short and closed it again. Jem was mystified; he could not understand what had brought on the sudden awkwardness between them, or what it meant.

"All right, James, this is about to become very uncomfortable indeed, but how far would you say you have taken your personal affairs with Tess?" Will glanced up at him.

Jem immediately flushed, much to his dismay and embarrassment. He already had an idea of where Will's thoughts were headed, and Jem would have been lying if he said he had not already pondered the idea. He had dismissed it earlier, though, when he assumed Tessa would see through the demon's disguise. This was no longer the case, and he couldn't help the shame enveloping his body like some kind of shock blanket.

He knew he shouldn't, but he had to ask, "You do realize how strange this is, considering your past relationship with her, yes?"

"Yes. My question stands."

Jem's knees had turned to jelly, and his insides fluttered like a net of butterflies had abruptly been let loose in his stomach. "Well, uh, we—" Jem paused, fighting the urge to cover his face with his shirt. Never, in all his wildest imaginings did Jem believe he would be in this situation, and his face burned with humiliation. Will's own features were curious, not bitter or judgmental, but not necessarily excited to hear his answer. "We have, um…"

"Are you married?" Will urged, crossing his arms.

"No. I am leaving that up to Tessa. We haven't really spoken of it, but I do not want her to feel as if she has to marry again, simply because that is what I want."

Will grinned. "Ever the selfless bastard," he stated with a short laugh.

"William!" Jem breathed.

"It's not a bad quality!" Will held his hands up in a defensive position, his feet shuffling away from Jem until they were nearly on opposite sides of the room. Only moments ago they had been face to face and laughing together, forgetting for a second the pain and fear of the reality in front of them. Now there was a rift, an invisible wall building itself directly between them until Jem felt that even if he reached out, he could not touch Will without striking the barrier. "At least you are not married yet. That means you haven't done anything too serious."

He tried to cover it up, to forget the blazing touch of Tessa's hands, still lingering on his skin to this day, her fingers in his hair, her lips moving all over his body. He could still feel the ecstasy, the fiery look in her grey eyes as she lay on his chest, her legs sliding along his own. Jem tried to smile, but it faltered under his guilt. "Um, yes, right," he stuttered.

He knew the minute his voice cracked that he had given himself away. Will's eyes snapped up to meet his own, and Jem swallowed a lump blocking the air in his lungs. "By the Angel, you did," Will muttered, his jaw slack with disbelief.

_It is written all over your face, and you know it. It's Will, after all, and he notices everything about you._ "Did what?"

"You know very well, James. I mean," Will tossed his hands in the air, "everyone probably expected it of me, but I never would have thought that you—oh, the irony!" Surprisingly, Will was laughing. It sounded slightly forced, but it was the complete opposite of what Jem had anticipated, so he felt at least somewhat relieved.

"Do control yourself, Will," Jem said, rolling his eyes. Will had his hand placed on the rusted door, and was bent over slightly, whispering to himself in Welsh. Jem trampled on his growing irritation.

"That's rich, coming from you—"

"Angel, William, can we please drop this topic? For heaven's sake!"

Will shut up quickly at Jem's angered tone, and righted himself, turning to face the other boy. Jem took a hesitant step forward, closer to his _parabatai_. Will did not back away. Jem didn't know how to approach him anymore—it was as if this sudden confession had brought out a new side to their relationship, one they had only briefly encountered a hundred years ago, when Jem discovered that Will was in love with Tessa as well. Knowing how they both felt, and how to elaborate beyond that, was one very rare experience they never had the chance to delve into deeper. The wall thickened.

"I told you this would be awkward," Jem reminded him, turning his gaze away from Will first. He would have given anything to disappear into the shadows the way the demon had earlier.

He heard a small shuffling sound, and then Will's hand was under Jem's chin, forcing the boys to look each other in the eye. Will had a smirk on his face, and his eyes were filled with the same unconditional affection he had bestowed upon Jem so many decades ago. Jem relaxed under his touch.

"Listen, James," Will whispered, his tone oddly serious. "If you think I am upset about this, then you are entirely wrong. First off, I have no reason to be angry with you, after all of the shit I put you through when I was alive."

"You did not—"

Will put up a hand. "Yes, I did, and some of it you don't even know. Jem, I am beyond happy that Tessa is in love again, and like I said before, there is no one better for her than you. I'm glad for the two of you. Shocked, but glad."

Jem smiled, at a loss for words. Will bit his lip. "I do not wish to explain further than this," he added, "but let us just say that I have done some things that I sort of regret, even to this day, for one reason or another. It is only awkward if you make it so. And believe it or not, I did ask that question for a reason. Think, Jem, why did that bastard Mortmain want Tessa?"

Jem answered without hesitation, "He wanted her to give him children that would be the ruin of the Nephilim."

Will frowned, his brow creasing. "Exactly."

Jem's heart stopped. "You don't think…?"

"That is what I think precisely. The demon wants to disguise himself as you, consort with Tessa, and have a child with her—"

"—who will attack the Shadowhunters, possibly as revenge for all we have done to the demon race," Jem finished, feeling more and more like his rhythm with Will was returning back to the way it used to be. "And Tessa will not see the danger."

Will nodded. "Because that demon is practically your clone, and since we watched them leave together, we know that he is a convincing actor as well."

"We have to tell Tessa before it's too late." Jem bolted to the door, nearly tripping over the chair in his haste. His foot caught on the wooden leg and he stumbled, his mind calming down for a moment and remembering the reason he could not leave. Ahead of him stood the door, his exit, his escape. But behind him stood his parabatai, his brother, half of his soul.

Will's voice filtered through the room, strong and firm. "Go on, James."

Jem's eyes clenched shut, trying to block out the impossible war in his mind. He was torn between the two people he loved, both at insurmountable risks. "I cannot, Will. The demon said—"

"The demon can screw himself. You are the only one who can save her this time, James, not me."

Jem's frustration boiled over and he spun to face Will, jabbing his finger at his friend. "I will not condemn you to Hell as a result! I won't do it! There must be another way."

"There is not!" Will's eyes were bright and expressive; Jem could see his fear of the future, and his inner turmoil over his inability to aid in Tessa's rescue. He knew that Will was at war with himself, just as hard as Jem, but that unlike him, Jem had the opportunity to do something about it. He had a decision to make, but how could he possibly choose between the fates of the only two people he loved with all his heart?

"What would Tessa think if she knew?" Jem asked, gripping Will's sleeve in his fingers. His knuckles went white, a stark contrast against the dark clothing. He couldn't believe how incredibly real Will felt under his hand, and for a moment Jem almost forgot that Will was still technically dead.

Will's hand ghosted over top of Jem's, their eyes never leaving each other's. "Tessa has no idea that I am here. Forget me, James. Go after Tessa. I want you to do this."

"But—"

Will smiled. "Go, Jem. Go."

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**A/N: Again, not my best, but still, drop me a review? What do you think Jem will decide? What about Tessa? See you guys soon :)**


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